In this weeks guest post coach Marie Yates shares some of her experience and expertise.
Coaching Through the Bad Times
by Marie Yates
I’ve been asked quite often about how coaching can really help when a person is having a really challenging time. There’s seems to be a perception that coaching requires positive thinking, positive energy and anything else that’s positive thrown into the mix too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for some positive thinking and looking on the bright side; I’ve just also learnt that there’s more than one way to achieve this.
I work with survivors of rape and sexual abuse of all ages. Rather than focusing on positivity, I choose to begin by looking at optimism and hope. I have learnt that the notion of positivity can lead to barriers being put up. It not only seems somewhat unachievable but can also feel false. At the very heart of my coaching approach lies the need for authenticity. If we’re not being true to ourselves, life can be quite exhausting.
If coaching can look at goals from a realistic standpoint, there is a much higher chance that the client engages with the process and begins to take action. For the clients I work with, taking those first steps can lead to the most incredible breakthroughs. I know for a fact that’s not exclusive to survivors.
Offering a message of hope and optimism has become a much more important part of the work I do. It is also the core message in my first book which was published last month. The story of Dani, a teenage survivor, shows that regardless of what we’re experiencing there is always hope. The book was written for teenagers but I’ve been amazed (and really pleased!) that adults are enjoying it too. The message of hope and story of resilience transcends age in a way that has proven to me that this message needs to be shared far and wide.
Coaching is an incredible means of working through the difficult times. It doesn’t have to be an unrealistic pursuit; it is a tangible and effective means of training yourself to live in a way that works for you. I have worked with people who wanted riches, bigger houses and cars, increased income and tropical holidays. They are all well on their way to achieving their dreams and some have reached them and are now striving for more. Some clients want to share their skills with the world by writing books, creating artwork or working directly with people in a way that resonates with them. For some, that has meant a decrease in their income generation and a significant increase in their happiness and wellbeing. Each and every person shares optimism and hope that they will achieve the thing that matters most to them. That is an incredibly powerful common value and is the means that keeps them motivated.
So, next time you’re feeling overwhelmed or unhappy about your current circumstances. Don’t feel that you have to create a falsely positive outlook, instead, allow yourself to feel optimistic that there is a much brighter future waiting for you and take a step towards it.
About Marie Yates
Marie Yates works with survivors of rape & sexual abuse to use their resilience and strength to really live their dream.
Lodestone Books has just published “Reggie and Me” the first book in the Dani Moore trilogy by Marie. The story of Dani, told through her diary as she starts a new school in the wake of her rape and subsequent court case, is a unique take on the notion of being a survivor.
There is absolutely no sensationalism about the rape and the story begins after the event. Having moved to a new area with her Mum, Dani starts year eleven at a new school. She faces various challenges throughout the year and these bring a renewed energy to face whatever is thrown at her and carry on regardless. It is more than a story of survival as the reader is taken on a journey of personal development.
Interweaved throughout the diary are the tools that girls and young women need to create the positive future they deserve. Whatever challenges the reader is facing, the story will guide them. Dani is facing challenges that every teenage girl faces and she realises that ‘normality’ is something that she can define herself, with the help of her dog Reggie and the people around her.
Find out the latest about Marie and the Dani Moore triolgy of books on Twitter @DaniM_Trilogy
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